Mindless Drone

I'm not sure how many of you can relate to this scenario but here it goes: My alarm goes off every morning at 510am. I continually hit the snooze button until my ass is alert enough to fall out of bed which is usually around 530am. I do about 20 minutes of stretching since daily weightlifting tends to tighten you up a bit. I finally get into the shower, get dressed, get my shit and head on out to Starbucks for my daily dose of caffeine. Once I get on the freeway I then have the wonderful experience of being stuck in an hour commute into Los Angeles to get to a shit job that is on par with working in a sweat shop. Once I clock in so that my minimum wage can start accruing, I get to sit behind a desk and count the seconds until 5pm when I'm released from Purgatory. Oh, did I mention that I work for a closet homosexual who thinks that by keeping a fiance for 12 years everybody will be fooled into thinking that he actually digs chicks? Can you relate? Or am I way off the mark? I guess I can't really blame anybody for my situation except myself. You see, I used to work with my "fruitcake" boss over at a Los Angeles television station. I was his assistant for about 3 years before he left to buy his own company. By the time 2007 came around I had had my fill of the television business and was ready to start a new job that would give me a well-rounded type of satisfaction that the television gig couldn't provide. It was around that time that fruitcake came along and extended me an offer to come and work for him. Now, in order for you to fully understand why I was excited about this proposition you have to understand who fruitcake is. This guy is very wealthy. He's made a lot of money from various investments over the course of his career and has made a name for himself in the television business. As a matter of fact, he and his "beard" have their faces painted above the bar at The Palms restaurant in West Hollywood. For those of you who are confused as to why this is a big fuckin deal, apparently only elite celebrities and Hollywood big shots receive this type of recognition and honor. To give you an example of how rich this guy is, his house takes up a quarter of the block he lives on in Los Angeles. It comes equipped with a five-car garage, tennis court, and a guest house with its own pool that runs through it. Did I mention that he also has his own luxury boat in Marina Del Rey? It's parked right next to one of Nicholas Cage's. Yeah, the guy is set. So, with that said, why wouldn't this guy be a kick-ass boss? Let me tell you and then you'll realize what a naive, fuckin retard I am for ever agreeing to come to this shit hole in the first place. For starters, he took away all of the staff's paid-sick days when he first bought the company. Doesn't matter if you are full-time or have been with the company for 10 years. If you're sick, you don't get paid. He expects all of his vendors to allow him to pay his invoices up to 45 days. If he goes past that and starts to head into 60 days he wants them to be okay with it. If they make the fatal mistake of having to ask for their money a couple of times he automatically bars us from using them ever again. Now, the most he'll give his customers is Net 30. If they are even a day late he's calling in the fuckin IRS to collect. The receptionist recently told me that when she was pregnant, he wanted to fire her because of all the Doctor's appointments she had to go to. He also wanted to drop our health insurance but his accountant was able to talk him out of it (don't ask me how). I'm sure by now you are thinking to yourself, "Wouldn't I know enough about him after 3 years not to make the mistake of coming to work for him?" Well, not really. I knew he could be a prick because most of the rich guys that I had met in the Entertainment Industry were but while he was at the television station he had Human Resources to keep his ass in check. Now that he has nobody to tell him what to do he is free to do whatever he wants. And believe me, he does. I'm sure he is doing some "Shady McGrady" shit here because the receptionist relays what she hears to me. Are you feeling me now? Or am I still off the mark?